I?d like to continue with my teaching you to plan your family finances. I hope you have missed nothing essential in my previous articles. Very often, especially in young families, the problem arises when the husband does not allocate money for occasional needs at all. In this case I mean exactly occasional needs which 0wife and children might have. This can cause a smoldering resentment on her part. In this case wife is able to conclude his carelessness, callousness and greed. But do not just think that your husband’s is a chronically greedy guy if you are a woman of course. Perhaps this guy doesn?t realize that a woman needs money indeed.
A man can sincerely believe that he has made comfortable life for her. For example he buys food, clothing and so on. Perhaps he does not realize that his wife has other equally important needs. A woman in such a situation often doesn?t want to complain. That’s their mistake from my point of view. In my opinion a woman should request his husband about this. It?s real, there?s no need to avoid this.
In the marital relationship it is very important to clarify all disputes in a peaceful manner. The matter is that those nuances can accumulate their destructive power and then this creates rather a stable distorted understanding of each other to my great regret. To my mind it would be much better to talk frankly a wife?s needs and calculate together how much money she needs for a month including that amount of the estimated costs. Then the husband will be psychologically ready to allocate money to his wife.
Psychologists believe that the mutual management of financial resources of the family demonstrates the harmony of the particular couple. And I?m likely to agree with this point of view especially if professional psychologists think so. I should say that in most cases I trust psychologists. But the discord between the spouses on the basis of money is their projection of their relationship to each other. In this case we can see attempts to dominate, to win the right to unilaterally make important decisions in the family or to demonstrate somebody?s superiority and so on. And this tendency is everlasting because as you know we are only partly human beings. We are also partly animals and as follows from this we tend to dominate in the hierarchy of human relationships. Correspondently psychologically stronger personalities tend to manipulate with weaker ones. And as you can see it?s quite natural, because it?s simply the law of nature. But at the same time we should do our best to be more humans rather than animals. So
Family members should plan their finances together and only together. Only in this case it?s possible to maintain harmony in the family.
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